I recently
gave this question for homework to a very high level class and unfortunately
lots of them failed to answer the question correctly. This led to lots of
frustration in the group, but they soon figured out what they did wrong.
I thought it
was worth looking at this question in more detail so you can prevent the same
thing happening on exam day.
1. Question Analysis
Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant
examples from your own knowledge or experience.
This is quite
a difficult question to answer because of the way it is phrased. In order to
answer this question correctly we should analyse it carefully.
Keywords – Women and
men/strengths and weaknesses
Micro-Key words – right to exclude/certain professions/because of gender
Instruction words – give reasons/relevant examples/own knowledge or experience
- The first common mistake - answering the question using the keywords and ignoring the micro-keywords. These students wrote an answer about the difference between men and women in the workplace and how certain jobs are better suited to men or women. This is not what the question asks.
- The second thing - either not supporting their ideas with reasons or not, including examples from their own knowledge or experience. These students just listed lots of ideas about the difference between men and women in the workplace without fully explaining what they mean and how this is linked to the question.
A good answer
would specifically address the micro-keywords i.e. is it right to exclude men
or women from certain professions? The most important words here are right, exclude and certain.
2. Idea Generation
Reasons why it is right to exclude men or women from
certain professions:
- Most men do
not have the skills to work in certain professions, such as a nanny.
- Society does
not accept men who work in certain professions, such as a beautician.
- Some women do
not have the physical attributes to work in certain professions, such as a
soldier.
- Society does
not accept women who work in certain professions, such as a construction
worker.
Reasons why it is not right to
exclude men or women from certain professions:
- It is unfair.
- People should
not be discriminated against because of their gender.
- That view has
no place in a modern, free society.
- Excluding
women from certain professions harms the economy.
We now need to think about which ideas to choose. I personally believe that women should not be excluded from any profession, but my personal feelings do not matter in an IELTS writing test. I should choose the ideas I feel confident explaining and supporting with examples. I will therefore write about why I think it is right to exclude men or women from certain professions.
3. Structure
The task is to
answer a direct question and it is therefore an opinion (agree/disagree) essay
and I will follow this structure:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 -
Paraphrase Question
Sentence 2 -
Thesis Statement
Sentence 3 -
Outline Statement
Paragraph 2 - Supporting Paragraph 1
Sentence 1 -
Topic Sentence
Sentence 2 -
Explain Topic Sentence
Sentence 3 -
Example
Sentence 4 -
Concession Sentence
Paragraph 3 - Supporting Paragraph 2
Sentence 1 -
Topic Sentence
Sentence 2 -
Explain Topic Sentence
Sentence 3 -
Example
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 -
Summary
4. Essay Sample
Women and men are commonly seen as having different
strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain
professions because of their gender?
Males and
females are often viewed as having different skill sets. It is agreed that it
is correct to exclude people from certain jobs on the basis of their gender,
but only in very limited circumstances. This essay will first discuss how
physical attributes prevent women from excelling in particular roles; secondly
discuss how society at large rejects men from undertaking certain careers,
followed by a reasoned conclusion.
For many years
the general consensus in the armed forces is that women should not be allowed
to participate in combat missions. This is because most women lack the brute
strength required for this particular occupation and it is therefore right to
prevent them from joining the ranks. For example, the American Army recently
allowed some women to fight on the front line and the Department of Defence
deemed the experiment a failure, due to lack of fighting effectiveness. Despite
this, many women have fought in many wars, famously on the Eastern Front for
Russia and the Viet Cong in Vietnam, so maybe it is men’s’ attitudes that
prevent them performing rather than their stature.
Society has
yet to accept men in many traditionally female positions, such as nanny or
beautician. Businesses feel that it is fine to not hire men for these posts
because most of their customers would not be willing to have a man perform that
service. I personally know of one example when a friend failed at the interview
stage when applying to become kindergarten teacher because he was the wrong
sex.
To summarise,
in limited circumstances it is just to prohibit people from certain
occupations, but only if they cannot physically perform or if the general
consensus is that it is a single sex post. (288 words)
I hope this
has been of help to you and please let me know if you have any questions or
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